just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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