he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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