just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
