Buhtt sex?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
