C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
