talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
