I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
