So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
