Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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