Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
