So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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