I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
