He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
