he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
