Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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