Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
