you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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