So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
