I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
