We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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