Nicole vs. Life
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
