i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
A+ Viking dick
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
