its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
