friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
