Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
