I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
