Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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