If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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