I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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