I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
