So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just found a bag of teeth...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
