its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
