Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
