Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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