drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
