I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
