but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
