? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My cat gives me a boner
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
