you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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