Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
