walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
