If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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