You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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