he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
