she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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