I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
