there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
