THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we're making bets on your personal life
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
