Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
