I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
