Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
